xXx: The Return of Xander Cage (2017)

Wasted opportunity to revive this “dirty james bond” series.

It froze in time. They tried something that could maybe work 15 years ago but for today’s standards it’s way too low. Awful screenplay that could be easily written by a 8 years old kid doesn’t really help too. 100 times seen cliches with fast video editing and absolutely useless cgi sequences. You have Tony Jaa and Donnie Yan, why would you ever need to use bloody CGI.

It’s a shame when you manage to have stars like Tony Jaa and Donnie Yan but you can’t unleash your imagination. As a result of that there are truly no epic fight scenes. Just ordinary stuff like crappy dialogues and world where everyboy can withstand direct impact from RPG or hit by car at full speed.

Nevertheless it had a few cool moments (and plenty of the cringe, not cool at all moments)if you are looking for some action movie to pass few hours, you found one.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)

Name so long you have to be diver to be able to pronounce it in one go.

It looks like a Transformers but it’s not. It looks like a Transformers sequel but it’s not. What it is? Oh yeah, the second TMNT movie, which is even worse than last Transformers.

  • Megan Fox – checked
  • Weird robotic thing – checked
  • cheesy jokes – checked
  • tragic storytelling and characters – checked

If you love yourself or your kids you can go watch the original animated tv show but definitely not this attempt to make another series to milk money.

Miss Sloane (2016)

Did you ever wished to discover the lobyist world but you wanted something more serious than the movie Thank you for smoking? Now is apparently good time to introduce you Miss Sloane.

Everything revolves around the strong main character, Elizabeth Sloane, one of the most successful lobyist. She will stands against most powerful oponent she ever did. Where is the crossing line when it comes to winning? What is “too much”?

Jessica Chastain plays really charismatic but also quite a bitch person. Probably one of her best perfomances. You can’t love or hate her character but you can admire her skills when it comes to “playing chess game”. There is lots of politics is involved, so hands off if you don’t like politics in movies.

Oh and Miss Sloane is very face paced movie you’ll probably don’t notice the length, 2h and 12 minutes.

It’s a shame this movie wasn’t nominated for oscars.

 

Going Postal (2010)

Once in a while I  genuinely regret my lack of interest or even hatred for books. Terry Pratchett’s unique type of humour and grotesque depictions of the world are simply amazing and these things work probably even better in the books.

Most stands out, apart from the art style and the whole world, the main female character portrayed by Claire Foy. Without her brilliant acting would be  the movie only half as great as it is.

Even though the story is greatly narrated it’s not an original one but who cares when it is so gladdeing to watch.

Allied (2016)

It’s one of those movies in which the story is quite uninteresting with believable neat retro visage. The main characters has a cold impression. Their emotions are simply not there.

So when it comes to Story, development of main characters and the main plot, you just don’t care.

Yet for some strange reason I so much enjoyed watching the whole movie thanks to the cinematography by Don Burgess. The steady continuous shots that were made with extreme precision, love and were also delicately cut. Absence of fast cutting and notorious shaky camera.

It was orgasm for eyes but hammer blow for brain.

Jackie (2016)

I should say that I truly love docudrama movies but what happened in this film i don’t know. It was utterly painful to watch it.

Instead of caring about the main character portrayed by Natalie Portman I just hoped that somebody travels back through the time and shoot her too. Yes, she did great job when it comes to the authentic part but I guess it was too much. Too much acting, too much of that annoying accent, too much authenticity.

It was cold, boring and uninteresting experience. Lately I was told that in the US people actually adore Jacqueline Kennedy to the point that led to creation of several myths about her person. This information explains why it was well received overseas.

I’m strongly against recommendation to watch this movie unless you want to throw out almost 2 hours of your life through the window.

Eddie the Eagle (2016)

I guess, the sole reason wheter you’ll like this is built on presumption you like movies soaked with positiveness.

It’s not a particularly funny movie yet it is pleasing to watch how the story goes. But again, if you don’t like those kind of “feel good” movies you have to back off immediately.

This film is very reminiscent of the movie called Cool Runnings (1993) . Both stories even happened at the same winter olympic games but Cool Runnings was actually quite funny and entertaining picture while Eddie the Eagle isn’t.



Yeah, the nickname isn’t derived from how far he managed to jump

eddie-the-eagle