Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Initially it was looking good, the first hour was above average action ride practically repeating things that worked in the first movie. Sadly, after that nothing but senseless exaggeration in terms of “lets maximize everything that worked before” happens. Therefore Drax’s ability to not understand sarcasm is used basically in every other scene, Groot is even more cutter etc. 

The length, almost 2,5 hour, is simply overwhelming for such an elementary story and after the first hour it becomes tiring, lobotomizing, nothing remarkable happens. Those movies should have been 50 minutes long.

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Kong: Skull Island (2017)

Here it goes, another remake/reboot of a classic. currently there was like dozen of King Kong’s movies therefore someone got an idea to add another one to this bizarre pile.

And this current attempt is, empty. Even though it starts with a rapid speed, after no more than 20 minutes the whole crew is on the island and you can imagine what happens next, shit hits the fan. Kong’s first appearance quickly follows because typical american idea popped up: “Hm, What the hell is that?…I don’t know, but we should kill it with bombs”

Everything looks fine and action scenes are great. Well at least to the first 40 or 50 minutes then it tries to slowdown a bit and start with developing story and characters. But that’s the problem, in this movie, there isn’t any story or characters to develop and the forced slowdown in tempo makes in really visible.

After the film spans from this part towards the end it starts accelerate again but no matter how hard the movie tries to act cool again, the final boss battle seems kind of “meh”. A disproportionate amount of boring scenes can’t make up for a few great looking and cool scenes. Even the monsters are disappointing, there just upscaled ordinary animals like the spider, The Phasmatodea  etc. I wished they were more creative.

Nevertheless Kong: Skull Island should be just a first of the many “monster movies” that in the ideal world should begin great franchise and it’s well-known that there should be a Kong vs Godzilla movie around 2020. This is basically the reason why is the Kong so fucking big.

Guily Pleasures – short list

Starship Troopers

starshiptroopers1997-0113In some way hilarious or even bad but for me absolute sci-fi classic about and alien invasion and how humanity will deal with those nasty insects and In My opinion also heavily against military propaganda.


Empire records

maxresdefaultSimple-minded movie about weird bunch of people who work together at local music store and all of them are connected through passion for music. Many of those who played in this movie become later in their careers famous but in this case they didn’t portrayed the characters for money but for the love of acting.


Mean girls

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Long before Lindsay Lohan become, well you know what, she also played in solid movies. I know that this one is really aimed at teenagers, Childish humour but gorgeous cast and somehow working “plot twist”.


John Wick

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Story for dummies but damn the action scenes? That’s why i love old 90s action movies and that’s why i love john wick, old-school action sequences that are fucking cool. There are even videos of Keanu training and preparing for the scenes that’s maybe even cooler.


Final destination

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Terrible acting, stupid decisions, who cares! I adore when someone die in a creative way and this whole movie is about dying, dying in the most ridiculous ways. You know they’re going to die and you just want to see HOW.


The Mummy

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You could call it a cheap copy of Indiana Jones but it differs in small details. It is adventure but it starts in more serious, darker atmosphere yet it ends in much funny style.


Bulletproof monk

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Monk protects a sacred scroll but he needs a student that can be trusted in order to pass on him the duty of protecting the scroll. Cheesy jokes, great action, lovable woman character and lots of fun.

 


Pitch Black

yc0ceez9oo6ydyymcefy90q9jiiWho wouldn’t love one of the most badass character of all time – Riddick. Even though Vin Diesel can’t really act properly he’s portraying Riddick in a way you just want to say: “This is cool, this is so fucking cool”. Eyes reflecting light in the complete dark? Fucking Cool. That extra curved and weird-looking knifes? Fucking Cool.

 

Brimstone (2016)

Do you know what happen when you mix together first terminator movie, the witch (2015) and the western style? I am just kidding but elements from those movies are really visible in Brimstone.

Unstoppable antagonist that is chasing our main female star portrayed by Dakota Fanning. She can’t escape her past no matter where she goes. This movie also includes several “fucked up” scenes most of them contains “religion fanaticism” and of course lots of blood and explicit, disturbing scenes.

Brimstone is split into four parts, it all starts in reverse order heading right toward finale part that is set in “future”. I don’t believe this odd segmentation was really necessary and justified, you could tell the same story using normal order and everybody would be much happier.

When you look at the full cast you’ll definitely notice two names from Game of Thrones,  Carice van Houten and Kit Harington, Kit play just insignificant man but Carice’s character has some importance and impact.

It’s not really a western it just happen to be in that environment, it’s more like a thriller with a drop of mystery that will try to shock you and most likely it’ll succeed.

★★★★

 

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)

Visually breathtaking yet heartless story from Star Wars universe placed between episode III and IV.

It’s cruel reality and sadness that even at 21st century the well written FEMALE characters are practically non existing and Rogue One is no exception. Felicity Jones’s Jyn Erso was very unpleasant character, she was actually quite a bitch, switching from one extreme to another. From total disinterest, with nothing but blink of an eye, to best and most loyal fan of rebel alliance. All of that makes it pretty hard to sympathize with her.

Other characters suffer in almost identical way. There is no room left for empathy, Anybody who watched Star Wars knows that this story is about stealing construction plans of death star and the ones  who stole them died. You know they are going to die but you don’t care, it’s cold and impersonal.

The cheap jokes, that could be easily invented by 12 years old kid, only further undermine the atmosphere. Worth mentioning is robot unit K-2SO and its sarcastic sense of humour sadly it’s similar to but not as funny as Marvin, the Paranoid Android from hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy.

The Soundtrack was really terrible, strange hybrid of the original themes from Star Wars and something that was made to sound like Star Wars. Instead of that they should either pick just the original themes or try to compose completely new tracks.

What has happened is a complete separation from Star Wars and their unique story telling and what’s left is just a soulless good-looking sci-fi body floating through space. Body that you don’t care about. Body that you leave lying on the ground and let it rot.

★★★★★

Labyrinth (1986)

Fantasy movie full of creative ideas and practical effects starring young Jennifer Connelly and recently deceased avantgarde pop star David Bowie.

Simple story about a girl who has to get through the labyrinth to obtain his younger sibling who was kidnapped by an “evil wizard” or to be precise the goblin king. All of that wrapped in a magical world full of weird monsters and creatures is probably more suitable for children than adults. The practical effects are amazing, it looks awesome even after three decades.

The main problem is David Bowie’s goblin king which is used only to sing several songs  and to dramatize whole story and that’s it, bad guy with zero charisma. His unexplained behavior makes it really hard to understand why he acts the way he does.

Kids will enjoy it, adults may admire the technical side of this movie.

Oscars

To this point I’ve seen about 3/5 of the last oscars winning movies and I’m still trying to comprehend what the actual fuck happened. I mean look at those movies, in my opinion,  the only movie from the nominated that actually deserves to be there is Arrival and even that is discutable.

I am not sure if I’m getting old or the movies getting worse, to me it seems like bunch of movies full of hyper correctness and hypocrisy or playing just for effect. Thanks to oscars 2016 boycotting we now have to tolerate more shitty movies. Before you can say it, no I’m not a racist because when you start forcing something artificially it simply means increasing the quantity while ignoring the quality.

Quality over quantity

So now they have to “reserve” several places to movies that contains something including black people and it doesn’t matter if in some specific year were made some oscar nominations worthy movie.

The Whole argument “there is not enough diversity” is utterly wrong. Next year someone will demand more hindi movies and more hindi actors nomination or hispanic actors or whatever, while still ignoring the fact that Oscars are WEST CULTURE thing which means that majority of nominated should logically represent and reflex the reality. around 60-70 % of U.S. population is white that means more white actors, more white directors etc. All of that leads to more “white” movies. It’s therefore understandable that majority of nominated movies are also being “white”. More movies means higher chances of the “oscar worthy” movies.

My solution for this mess is simple, look at the movie, its qualities and ignore the color, the race, the ethnicity when it doesn’t matter and just look at the actor’s performance. (I know I am that naive)